San Francisco County inmates are forced to fight each other "gladiator-style" for food, and so deputies can bet on the matches, City Public Defender Jeff Adachi said. 


     An accused bank robber pursuing an insanity defense surprised jurors this week when he drew feces from his pants and ate it while testifying during his felony trial.


     The U.S. Coast Guard used outdated data to set pay rates for pilots who navigate ships across the Great Lakes, a federal judge ruled Friday. 

     Call me a misunderstood patriot with cruel yet handsome eyes if you wish - so many people have - but I don't think it's right to expect buttered beer.
     In a 1664 entry in his celebrated diary, Samuel Pepys criticized the king - of all people - for throwing an enormous banquet without buttered beer.
     I'm going to have to side with King Charles II on this one.
     Sure, maybe the king could have engraved the invitations "B.Y.O.B.B.," but still ...
     That entry, I'm afraid, is not Pepys' only mention of buttered beer.
     On June 22, 1662, Pepys wrote: "So meeting in my way W. Swan, I took him to a house thereabouts, and gave him a morning draft of buttered ale."
     A morning draft of buttered ale? Then down to the Navy Office, hey, Sam'l? Yeesh.
     But that's not all.
     It is my unpleasant duty to report that in February 1665, Pepys wrote: "Thence home and to the office, and so home having a great cold, and so my wife and Mrs. Barbary have very great ones, we are at a loss how we all come by it together, so to bed, drinking butter-ale."
     That's right. The renowned architect of the British Navy drank buttered beer all day long and into the night. Even in bed.
     I apologize in advance for what I am about to do. Here is a recipe for buttered beer, taken from Robert May's 1660 book, "The Accomplisht Cook."
     Please don't blame me. I'm just the reporter.
     "Boil beer or ale and scum it, then have six eggs, whites and all, and beat them in a flaggon or quart pot with the shells, some butter, sugar, and nutmeg, put them together, and being well brewed, drink it when you go to bed."
     Drink it when you go to bed?
     The subtitle of May's book was: "The art & mystery of cookery. Wherein the whole art is revealed in a more easie and perfect method, than hath been publisht in any language."
     I hope so.
     So Karl Marx was right when he said that history repeats, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.
     But we cannot blame Robert May whole and entire, as we used to say. He swiped his recipe from an even earlier cookbook, "The Good Huswife's Handmaide for the Kitchen," of 1594, by Thomas Dawson.
     Huswives were not allowed to write their own cookbooks back then. Their buttered-beer-drinking husbands had to do it.
     Dawson's book is a gold mine of information for people who want to be glad they did not live in the 1500s.
     His recipes include "To boyle a Conie with a Pudding in his bellie" and "How to make Farts of Portingale."
     Dawson's recipe, "To make Buttered Beere," I am sorry to say, appears in the section: "All necessaries appertaining to a Banquet." (King Charles II, take note.)
     It's pretty much the same recipe as May's: a lot of beer, half a pound of sugar, nutmeg, eggs and ... I'm sorry. I have to lie down.
     Fortunately for all of us, immediately after the Buttered Beere recipe, Dawson gives us a recipe for "A Purgation."
     He suggests: "In the morning drinke it earlie. Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces: these three be the best signes to take purgations in."
     Thanks for the astrological tip, Thomas!
     Can't wait until June rolls around!
     All these recipes, I am sorry to say (why do I keep apologizing?) can be found on the website FoodsofEngland.co.uk.
     I shall end my comments here. Our country's international relations are bad enough already.

     A Texas federal judge halted implementation of a Department of Labor rule forcing anti-gay marriage states to recognize same-sex couples married in other states. 

     Nevada state senators introduced a second bill to have same-sex marriage recognized in the Nevada Constitution.

     V. Stiviano worked for Donald Sterling's charitable foundation and their relationship was platonic, not sexual, she testified Friday, as her $3 million bench trial against Shelly Sterling came to an end.

     Three days after a troubled copilot flew a commercial jet into the Alps, killing 150, a pilot who was locked out of his cockpit 3 years ago and had to be subdued by passengers sued JetBlue, claiming it should have known that he was "physically and mentally unfit to fly" that day.

     A racist chant sung by fraternity members at the University of Oklahoma on a viral video was learned four years ago during a leadership meeting held by the national Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity, school officials said Friday.

     Driving up wages in a bid to improve New York's Medicaid workforce does not run afoul of federal law, the 2nd Circuit ruled Friday. 


     A marine sanctuary in Hawaii is proposed for expansion in size and focus to reflect a new ecosystem management approach.

     Accused swindler "Lucky" Luke Brugnara on Thursday could not persuade a judge to release him pending his $11 million mail fraud trial, but U.S. District Judge William Alsup did thank him for providing "yet another sterling example of how you abuse the court process."

     Arizona's Legislature this week approved a bill requiring doctors to tell patients that they can reverse drug-induced abortions, and barring women from buying health insurance through the federal exchange that includes abortion coverage.

     A California law prohibiting a swipe fee surcharge for credit card purchases is unconstitutional, a federal judge ruled Thursday. 


     Three police agencies on Thursday reached a settlement with Ferguson protesters who filed a federal lawsuit to restrict the use of tear gas during protests.

     Two Texans jailed for videos they made showing the torture and killing of puppies and kittens might be federally charged for the footage after the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear their case.

     Sheriff's deputies "kidnapped" a man cooperating with the FBI investigation of corruption in L.A. County jails by moving him around the system under phony names, the man claims in court. 

     Hampton Creek Inc. deceptively advertised and sold its "Just Mayo" sandwich spread products as containing mayonnaise when in reality it doesn't, a class action claims. 


     A seven-state Army training exercise has Texas extremists up in arms, claiming it could be a front for a military takeover.

     Police in Florissant, Mo. shot a man to death and made it look like a suicide, the man's family claims in court.


     British engineering company BladeRoom Group claims in court that Facebook ripped off its revolutionary data center design and encourages others to do the same. 

     A sporting goods company's doorway pull-up bar contains a potentially fatal defect, a consumer claims in a federal class action. 


     A government-approved reality television show defamed an airline passenger and gave him post-traumatic stress by accusing him of money laundering and drug use on an episode of "Border Security," the man claims in court. 


     The family of a Dallas lacrosse player settled their closely followed federal racketeering lawsuit that claimed he was benched on his high school team in retaliation for not supporting his coaches' for-profit academy. 

     With Santa Ana winds blowing and a hot weekend ahead, Gov. Jerry Brown signed an emergency $1.1 billion drought-relief package Friday, as California sweats through its fourth year of drought.

     Found to have unfairly restricted concealed-weapons possession, San Diego must soon defend its law before an 11-judge panel of the en banc 9th Circuit. 

     Two sisters who lied about their involvement with the 1994 genocide in Rwanda defrauded their way into the United States, the 1st Circuit ruled. 

     Resolving two cases, a New York appellate court found a 75-to-life sentence appropriate for an ex-NYPD rapist, and cleared city officials in the case of the so-called "road-rage cop."

     A pricey ranch for troubled boys was properly shut down for lack of state-required certification, the Wyoming Supreme Court ruled Thursday. 

     A company that failed to confirm the contents of shipping containers before unknowingly transporting contraband used tires at a Chinese port must pay $438,000 tied to their eventual destruction, a federal judge ruled. 

     Two Chicago-area men, one of whom was a national guardsman, will appear in federal court Thursday afternoon on terror charges. 

     An attorney who compared public officials to Nazis and called a Wisconsin mayor a member of a "death cult" has been suspended for a year. 

     The 11th Circuit held the relatives of victims killed by Colombian paramilitary forces cannot sue Drummond Co. in U.S. courts for its alleged support of the murderers. 

     Re/Max sold 30 people luxury condos in the Cayman Islands without telling them the developer had no financing, and refused to refund $5.6 million when the project collapsed, liquidators claim in court. 


     A federal judge certified a class of Georgia residents who claim the state denied them benefits by delaying processing their applications for food stamps. 

     A federal jury on Thursday convicted a former United Commercial Bank credit officer for hiding the bank's plunge into insolvency from investors and the government.

     The government did not violate Native Americans' housing-assistance rights by lowering grants after discovering past overpayments, the 9th Circuit ruled Thursday.  

     By agreeing to construct a pond, a construction company was warranting that it would hold water, the Iowa Court of Appeals ruled. 

     Grindr need not face negligence claims from a man arrested after a 13-year-old allegedly used the gay-dating app to solicit a threesome, a federal judge ruled. 

     Chicago attorney Kathleen Niew pleaded guilty Thursday in Columbia, S.C., to three counts of wire fraud to further a fraudulent investment scheme.

     Kaiser said a woman was not trustworthy, but retaliation was the reason she was fired, a lawsuit claims. 

     A jury took just two days to find a Silicon Valley venture capital firm not liable for gender discrimination of and retaliation against its former junior partner on Friday.

     Just two days after onetime "Voice" contestant Judith Hill sued her, a music producer is accusing Prince of poaching that client.

     A man denied immigration relief because of his supposed ability to avoid torture in Mexico by moving found relief Friday from the en banc 9th Circuit. 

     The year-long investigation of a Fresno deputy police chief has ended with federal agents arresting him for allegedly conspiring to distribute oxycodone, heroin and pot. 


     The owner of a taxidermy shop pleaded guilty to fudging his records after selling black rhinoceros horns to an Irish traveler among other non-Texas residents.


     Lady Gaga's producer and ex-beau Rob Fusari must post a $7.3 million bond by Friday to stay claims that he never paid the woman who discovered the pop star, a federal judge ruled. 


     Personal information of substitute teachers who were harassed during a strike must be released to Cleveland's union boss, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled. 

     Dominion Virginia Power's offline Chesapeake power plant is leaching poisonous pollutants into the groundwater around the facility, the Sierra Club claims in a lawsuit. 

     An animal control officer and five others involved in the arrest of a dog rehabilitator operating out of Michael Vick's former dogfighting arena must face conspiracy claims, a federal judge ruled. 

     Priceline.com, KLM Royal Dutch Airlines and other travel-booking companies are infringing on copyrighted promotional photographs, the Wave Studio claims.

 

     Propane leaking from a water heater caused a Pennsylvania home to explode after a storm, an insurer claims in court. 

     The Delbarton School faces five lawsuits from alumni of the preparatory school who say they were sexually abused 30 years ago. 

     Macquarie Capital will pay $15 million to settle SEC charges of underwriting China-based Puda Cola's public offering despite knowing that Puda's offering materials contained false information. 

     P4 Production releases mercury, hydrogen cyanide and other poisons from its phosphorus plant in Soda Springs, Idaho, the United States claims in Federal Court. 

     The Secretary of the Interior and Bureau of Land Management violated environmental laws by granting four drilling leases on 4,000 acres in the Uintah Basin, the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance claims in Federal Court. 

     Keith and Elise Greenberg, First Rock Trustees Limited et al. fraudulently moved money around to try to duck a $6 million judgment, the SEC claims; click headline to see the defendants in Federal Court.